101 Ways to Spread a Little Civility
© Glenn Dromgoole
MoreCivilityPlease.com
The world needs a generous dose of civility. Each of us can make a difference by making our little corner of the world a little more civilized place. And in the process, we enrich our own lives by giving them a sense of purpose and meaning.
Civility is contagious. Catch it. Live it. Spread it. At home, at work, at school, at church. In the community, in the car, in the stadium. Talk about it at the dinner table, in discussion groups, with friends and business associates.
Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
Reject the temptation to criticize someone else’s actions without first considering his or her side of the story.
Respect the dignity of those whose politics, theology or world view you disagree with. Try to find some common ground.
Whenever you’re inclined to state an adamant position, consider the possibility that “I could be wrong.”
Treat everyone with a little more respect.
Find something positive on the Internet, social media, or the newspaper – an upbeat thought, a good deed, an inspiring article. See if it doesn’t improve your outlook. Share it with someone.
Set aside one hour a week to write three notes or postcards to people who have contributed in some small way to making this a better world.
Think a billboard thought. Express in seven words or less a message you would want to put on a billboard for everyone to see. Live that message.
Make peace with someone you have had a disagreement with.
Make peace with yourself for not always living up to your own standards. We all suffer lapses of civility from time to time.
Don’t be mean. Don’t be rude. Don’t interrupt.
Teach your kids to say “please” when they want something and “thank you” when they get something. Every time.
Practice the “please” and “thank you” rule yourself.
Every day look for an opportunity to make a small difference for good. Do it.
Write a letter praising someone or something. If you write a letter critical of someone, find something to praise before getting to the criticism.
Fight road rage by being exceptionally courteous.
Tune out TV or radio talk shows when people start interrupting or shouting at each other.
Slow down a little and take time to be more courteous.
Once a month, send a small check to a charity that is helping those in need.
Give a little more to the United Way or other charities than you did last year.
Go out of your way to praise exceptional service when you encounter it.
Ask yourself whether your community, your home, your workplace, church or school would be better off or worse if everyone behaved the same, or contributed the same, as you do.
Smile more. Complain less.
Praise more. Criticize less.
Be a person who gives – time, money, concern, care, yourself.
Try to be a little more understanding of leaders at all levels. Accord them the courtesy you would want if you were in their shoes.
Pitch in. Help out. Lend a hand.
Make your home a place of acceptance and openness.
Explain to your children what it means to be civil, kind, generous, reasonable. And show them.
Communicate your values. To your children. To your spouse. To yourself.
Say “I’m sorry.” Say “I love you.”
Encourage others by taking an interest in what they have to say.
Make it a point to do something extra for someone else whenever you can – without taking or expecting any credit.
Save your change as a family or work group and give it to charity at the end of the year.
Do a community service project together as a family or group of friends.
Hold your tongue when you feel the urge to make a vicious remark.
Don’t let things become too important.
Keep your word.
Write a family book as a holiday greeting, with every member of the family contributing something – a poem, a drawing, a story, an essay.
Produce an email newsletter for your extended family so everyone can keep in touch.
Record oral histories of family members.
Give a present to a street person. It doesn’t have to be money.
Read something that inspires you to become a better person.
Keep a daily journal noting something positive or something you’re thankful for.
Read more. Write more.
Listen more. Laugh more.
Pray for peace. Advocate for peace.
Don’t feel that you always have to be right.
Use good manners – holding open a door, giving up your seat on a bus or subway, letting someone go ahead of you – as a way to say to other people that you respect them.
Know your heart. Open your heart. Follow your heart.
Find a book that you feel has something important to say and donate copies to friends, co-workers, school libraries.
Make up your own civility prize and award it to a deserving individual in your community, school, or workplace.
Even when you would rather not go, show up at important events for family, friends, community.
Take the high road.
Keep your cool
Count to three. Maybe to ten.
Accept the imperfections in others, just as you hope they will accept yours.
Look for the possibilities, not just the obstacles.
Walk through life with a thankful spirit, and others will want to walk with you.
Remind yourself that you have the power to help people. Make it a priority.
Be an advocate for reason.
Find a cause that genuinely helps people in need and throw yourself into supporting it.
Question any beliefs that put people down or try to keep them down.
Refuse to accept the one-sided ravings of ideologues and fanatics with simplistic solutions to all the world’s problems.
Don’t be blindly partisan. Be open to the possibility that there may be some right and some wrong on both sides.
Spread a little optimism wherever you can.
Choose to make the world a little better because you’re here, rather than a little worse.
Every so often, take an attitude inventory.
Don’t argue religion. Just practice it.
Practice good sportsmanship. Applaud good plays by the opposing player or team.
Have a conversation with someone from another faith or political belief. Try to learn something rather than argue the superiority of your own view.
Be known as someone who is easy to get along with.
Find a quotation that you believe has something important to say about civility and include it on your business card.
Do an act of kindness for someone you don’t particularly like.
Teach your children that the true joy of life comes from giving, not getting.
Count your blessings.
Count them again.
Cook something and take it to a neighbor or someone needing a little boost. Sharing food makes the world a little more civilized.
Take pride in where you live. Develop your own tour to show off your town or city. Make a list of 25, 50, 100 things you like about your community.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong. People make mistakes. It’s better to admit it than to try to cover it up.
Make a donation to a favorite charity in honor of someone who has been a positive influence in your life.
Don’t put off doing the good things you think about. Act on your good intentions.
Be the kind of cheerful person you enjoy being around.
Support local artists, musicians, authors, poets, actors in their creative endeavors.
Remember those who risk their lives to protect us. Send a card to your local police or fire department or military installation. Make a donation to a charity in their name.
Hug a teacher. Thank a school board or city council member. Write a note of encouragement to an elected official.
Bury a hatchet. Mend a fence. Call a truce.
Take a new person at work, school, church, in the neighborhood to lunch.
Volunteer.
Approach every day with the idea that you are going to learn something new.
Even if you don’t have children around the house, sit down and read a children’s book and see if it doesn’t brighten your outlook.
Don’t try to get out of jury duty. It’s a citizen’s right and privilege.
Every time you get the chance, vote. Never take that right for granted.
Try to be someone who votes for, rather than against. There’s a lot to be for in our towns, cities, states and in our country.
Find ways to forgive.
Be a good neighbor.
Conduct yourself in ways that show you respect the rights and feelings of others.
When you are stuck in traffic, or in the waiting room, or in line at the supermarket or post office, instead of displaying your impatience find a way to use the time constructively, if only as a moment for reflection.
Remember: This, too, shall pass. Keep your perspective.
Control your anger. Watch your language. Don’t let your words hurt others.
Laugh at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Believe in the future. Work to make things better. Realize that you can make a difference.
